Part 1
The Maury Show's Lie Detector: Can a Cheater Really Change?
You've probably seen the clip. Josh, the soft-spoken fiancé with the nervous smile, sits across from Maury Povich while Tara, the mother of his 8-month-old son, glares at him. The lie detector test results are in, and Josh passes. He's telling the truth: he never slept with another woman. But the real question isn't whether he passed. It's whether a serial cheater can ever truly change. And if he can, what does a polygraph have to do with it?
The episode, a classic installment of The Maury Show (hosted by Maury Povich since 1991), introduces us to Tara, Josh, and Lacy. Josh admitted to three emotional affairs and kissing a coworker. He denies sleeping with anyone else. The lie detector confirms he's telling the truth about that one thing. But Tara isn't convinced. She thinks Josh is a professional liar. And she might be right. Because passing a lie detector test doesn't prove you've changed. It just proves you're good at lying—or at least good at believing your own lies.
So let's dig into the question that tabloid talk shows have been asking since Jerry Springer first told us to take care of ourselves (1991–2018): Can a cheater change? And what does a polygraph actually measure? To answer that, we need to look at Josh and Tara's story more closely. Because their drama isn't just trashy TV. It's a window into the psychology of infidelity, the limits of lie detection, and the messy reality of trying to rebuild trust after it's been shattered.
First, let's set the scene. Tara and Josh have been together for years. They have a son. They're engaged. But Tara says Josh has a wandering eye—and wandering hands. She claims he's been with 40 or 50 women. Josh says that's ridiculous. He admits to emotional affairs—relationships with women at work that crossed the line. He admits to kissing one coworker. But he insists he never slept with anyone else. The lie detector backs him up. So why doesn't Tara believe him?
Because she's seen the pattern. Josh sings to women at work. He buys them gifts—like a package of peanut M&Ms for one woman's birthday, purchased with Tara's Target gift card. He spends time with Lacy, a woman he calls his best friend, even though Lacy has a boyfriend named Justin. Tara thinks Josh and Lacy are more than friends. Josh says they're just friends. Lacy says they're just friends. Justin says he trusts Josh. But Tara doesn't. And can you blame her?
The lie detector test is supposed to settle this. It's the centerpiece of every Maury episode. But here's the thing: polygraphs aren't magic. They measure physiological responses—heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, skin conductivity. They don't detect lies. They detect stress. And if you're a practiced liar, you might not feel stressed at all. You might even believe your own lies. So when Josh passes, it doesn't mean he's innocent. It just means he didn't show the signs of lying. That's a crucial distinction.
This is where the 2019 film Marriage Story comes in. Noah Baumbach's masterpiece isn't about lie detectors, but it is about infidelity and the stories we tell ourselves. Charlie (Adam Driver) cheats on Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) with a coworker. He doesn't admit it at first. When he does, he minimizes it. He says it didn't mean anything. He says it was just sex. But Nicole knows better. She knows that infidelity isn't just about sex. It's about betrayal. It's about the lies. It's about the way one person can rewrite the story of a relationship to make themselves the hero. Josh is doing the same thing. He's not lying about sleeping with other women—maybe. But he's lying about everything else. He's lying about the emotional affairs. He's lying about Lacy. He's lying about who he is.
And that's the real issue. Can a cheater change? The answer is complicated. Some can. Some can't. Some say they've changed, but they haven't. They just got better at hiding it. They learned to pass the lie detector. They learned to say the right things. They learned to manipulate. Josh might be one of those. He's charming. He's smooth. He thinks he's Luther Vandross. He sings to women at work. He buys them gifts. He makes them feel special. And then he comes home to Tara and acts like nothing happened. That's not a mistake. That's a pattern.
But here's the thing: change is possible. It's just not easy. It requires honesty. It requires accountability. It requires therapy. It requires a willingness to look at yourself and say, 'I did this. I hurt someone. I need to be better.' Josh isn't there yet. He's still making excuses. He says Tara depressed him. He says she frustrated him. He says she made him feel a certain way. That's blame-shifting. That's not taking responsibility. That's not change. That's just more lying.
So does passing a lie detector test prove a cheater has changed? No. It proves they can pass a lie detector test. It proves they can control their physiological responses. It proves they can say the words 'I didn't sleep with anyone else' without breaking a sweat. But it doesn't prove they've changed. It doesn't prove they're faithful. It doesn't prove they're honest. It just proves they're good at lying. Or good at believing their own lies. And that's a scary thought.
